So I have decided, unless I win the lotto tonight, I am throwing my hat in the race! I am going to run for president. As I research, and study all the other candidates. I have decided. I do not like any of them. They all pretty much suck! I mean, you're local ex-Wal-Mart cashier/Direct Care Specialist, is way better equipped to do the job right?
I am going to have goals, that's going to tick off the masses! By the time I'm done explaining all my plans, I'm sure you're all going to run right out, and vote for me. And guess what? I'm even old enough to run!!
So here is my platform!
1. My first call of duty in office, would be to deport Trump to the Mideast. For no other reason than the fact that I do not like him! He's a loud mouth, bully. Who doesn't really seem to have clear plan, other than being a hateful bully! I mean that's a good enough reason right?
2. Next I'm going to reform taxes! Seriously, I am. Starting with cut breaks for the middle class! For real! Which of course means those rich mofo's are going to get a spike in their taxes! Yeah yeah I know.. I shouldn't penalize the rich, for being rich. Well I'm not going to make the poor suffer, because they are poor! That's just stupid! Actually, why not remove taxes from anyone making under 60,000 dollars a year!
3. Talking about taxes.. I'm going to do away with some taxes as well! There are things, I think are stupid to tax. Like shampoo's, conditioners, soaps and toothpaste! Condoms, pads, and tampons (or cups, period panties, or cloth ones). Laundry soap, and dish soaps. Tax will be removed.
4. However, to make up for those lost taxes, we'll have to rise taxes elsewhere. I'll do this in the "unhealthy" food. YES FOOD! I said it. Right now no foods are taxed. But when I become president. That will change. Junk food.. taxed! I'll call it the healthy tax. Basically if it didn't come from the ground, or a hind it's taxed! Veggies, fruits (fresh, canned, or frozen), breads, buns, fresh meat, etc. will not be taxed. Pop, chips, candy, tv dinners, pizza, hot pockets, pizza rolls,and the like such! Taxed!
5. I will reform the welfare system. People will not only be able to buy food with their card, they will be able to buy those now newly no taxable products such as toilet paper, and laundry soap. Everything I mentioned in # 3..and yes that includes condoms! However, the downside. All the food that is now taxable (unhealthy junk) cannot be purchased! If you want those, it has to come out of your pocket.
6. I will lower the cost of healthy food, so your assistant will go further!
7. Nationally, the minimum wage will increase! People shouldn't have to work their butts off, for nothing! This whole scrapping by the seat of your pants is so overrated, and old. Time to move on! Time to make changes!
8. The health care system needs reformed. I do not even know where to begin there! Sure Government health care seems to work in other places.. financially. But you know people shouldn't have to wait months to see a doctor, or get treatment..and that's where Universal
health care screws people. There needs to be a happy medium! And I like insurance companies. I kind of like having a say in my health. So a happy medium there!
9. Immigration! This also needs a lot of work! We need to find a happy medium! We can't just openly open our boarders to terrorist. Rather it be refugee's from Syria, or Mexican drug lords! I personally am more worried about all the drugs coming in from Mexico. And I'm going to personally wage a ware against them! Starting with importing any and all drug dealing, using, slinging non-American citizens. Send their asses back to where they come from, And if they come back..throw them in a cell and allow them to be butt raped by anyone who wants a piece! Then throw their bloody a-holes in a cell for life! Drugs will not be tolerated!
10. Rehabilitation reform. No more throwing those who have addictions into a jail cell for a few months, and then throwing them back into the mess they came from. To restart the cycle! They need help they need counseling. The need to be set up with the correct tools! They do not get that now. Actually, we need Mental Health and Addictions Reform! Starting with programs to help them get out into the work force. Lets give them reasons to live, without drugs! OK?
Now I could go on and on, but I'll stop now!